My mom married a black man off the Internet and moved to Texas - Part 1

My mom married a black man off the Internet and moved to Texas. This has been, among other things, my Twitter bio and go-to punch line in most of my jokes for some time now. At first glance, it may even appear racist on some level. And it is. Let me explain.

You see, my mom married a black man off the Internet and moved to Texas. Five years ago, my father passed away from cancer. In a strange way, I thought this would be some sort of relief to my mom, since she has been telling me my entire life that she hated him and wished she had never married him. My parents were still married at the time of his death but because my mom has told me countless times that the only reason she stayed married to him was because of me and her restrictive religion, I thought in some way his death would bring her freedom. I realized that losing your husband, regardless of your feelings for him as a person, would not be easy. But I really did think that with him gone, she would become a whole person. Something I had been eager to experience for years. My mom, I believed, would finally become my mother.

After my father passed, my mom - whom I have been raising my entire life - regressed further into childhood. This was disappointing to everyone in her life and we all tried our very best to guide her. She didn't seek counseling. She didn't take time to grieve. She didn't reach out to her friends and family who had already lost their husbands to disease and unfortunate circumstance. She didn't buck up and become the rock her children needed. She didn't do any of the things that could be considered reasonable, for a grieving widow with grieving children. 

My mom did, however, sign up for an online dating service immediately after my father's death. In amongst her suicide threats, her impulsive rash decisions and her desperate cries for desperation, she managed to submit an online profile on a dating site. Now, I have no problem with my mom 'moving on' and finding a new partner in life. I was actually happy for her. I thought to myself, 'My mom hated my dad and was miserable the entire 30 years they were married. Now is her chance to find someone she's compatible with and become the woman I've always yearned for her to be!'.

It wasn't until I found out how my mom filled out the online dating profile that I realized nothing had changed. She was still the same person I had always known and it was then that I realized history was about to repeat itself.

To be continued....